Newsletter for May 2009: 21^st Century Skills: Extreme Selfishness

 

Table of Contents:

This Months Thought

Skills for the 21^st Century: Extreme Selfishness

Quotes of the Month

Strictly Business: Saying NO to Opportunity

Humor: Some of the Things I Have Learned

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This Months Thought

Demand selfishness of yourself and those around you. Not everyone will like you, but they'll respect and trust and admire you, and you'll achieve far more than if you lose your SELF in the mistaken hope that wearing a mask will make life "easier." Stand tall. Show us your true colors. Let us know the real you!

Skills for the 21st Century: Extreme Selfishness

Are you selfish enough to flourish in the 21st century? In my opinion, most of us are not.

Obviously, I'm not talking about selfishness in the petty ways we see in children or in immature tycoons grasping for even more millions. I'm talking about being smart and mature and clear about who you are and how you want to live in the world. Here's one way of thinking about it - if you aren't yourself, who are you going to be?

If you aren't "self-ish" enough, then you're merely playing a role or trying to be someone you are not, and that's a recipe for disaster. No one can successfully go through life pretending to be someone they are not.

Here are some desirable traits of extremely selfish people:

1.  They walk their talk. We used to hear more about character and integrity than we do today. Selfish people are described by phrases like, "what you see is what you get" and "his/her word is their bond." Extremely selfish people make very few promises and they always keep them.

2.  They have clear boundaries. Selfish people know what they stand for, and what they refuse to tolerate. Selfish people are not afraid to say no to an inappropriate request, or to block interruptions. Selfish people insist on being treated with respect, and they treat others the same way.

3.  Selfish people are eager to learn. They know who they are and they have no problem saying they don't know, or that they were wrong. They learn from experience and are open to suggestion. Because they know who they are and are comfortable in their own skin, they relate well with others, but only on equal footing and with mutual honesty.

4.  Selfish people play many roles, but they never confuse the role with who they are inside. Extremely selfish people know when it is appropriate for them to be the leader, the student, or to take some other role in an organization, but they never confuse their role at the moment with who they truly are.

5.  Selfish people are strong and can be forceful. Their feet are planted on the ground and they are rarely confused about their priorities, their objectives or their values. They know where they are going in life and they are clear about the strategies they will use (and the ones they will NOT use) to be successful.

6.  Selfish people are confident and self-assured. Because they know who they are and what they value, they have fewer doubts. There is an attractive aura that surrounds extremely selfish people and we admire them as they stride confidently through life.

Modern life encourages us to be "people pleasers" even when that means sacrificing our beliefs, our integrity or our values. Too often we get so caught up in being a "team player" that we forget who we are, and how we want to live our lives.

Never "lose" your SELF! You are all you have!

This is your life and you are incomparable. The world is counting on you to be your SELF! We need all of your talents, all of your honesty and insight. The world needs the one and only YOU and you cheat yourself and everyone around you if you lose your SELF in the roles and masks of life.

Demand selfishness of yourself and those around you. Not everyone will like you, but they'll respect and trust and admire you, and you'll achieve far more than if you lose your SELF in the mistaken hope that wearing a mask will make life "easier." Stand tall. Show us your true colors. Let us know the real you!

Quotes of the Month

"Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom." -- Thomas Jefferson

"One person with a belief is equal to a force of ninety-nine with only interests." -- John Stuart Mill

"Persistent people begin their success where others end in failure." -- Edward Eggleston

"Be who you is, because if you ain't who you is, you is who you ain't"  -- Unknown

Strictly Business:  Saying NO to Opportunity

High achievers say no to more opportunities than they pursue. That may seem paradoxical, but it's consistent with the observation that success comes from doing "one thing and doing it well."

Over the years of coaching hundreds of extremely successful people, I've noticed the following pattern. Failures (lets call them what they are) are always looking for a "break." They see a world with few opportunities and they are always claiming that "luck" never came their way. They are always casting about for the next trend or a "ground floor opportunity." In short, they are always starting over, or spreading themselves too thin, or chasing rainbows.

High achievers, on the other hand, see a world full of thousands of opportunities, most of which they politely decline. They know that the job they already have, the business they are already building or the profession they are developing is precisely where they REAL opportunities already exist.

Let's face it. Peak performers are very attractive people and they receive thousands of invitations. People pursue them, asking for their endorsement or their participation in the "next big thing" but in most cases, they do not have the "spare time" or the energy for them. High achievers are not easily distracted from their primary course in life, so they walk away from more opportunities than they accept.

And so should you!

Do one thing and do it well. "Stay the course." Find the fortune that already exists in your own back yard rather than chasing the one that may (or may not) lie over the horizon, out of sight and too often, out of reach. Finish what you've started and make your fortune doing what you already know.

Humor: Some of The Things I've Learned

There are lots of lists of things people learn in life, but a good friend of mine recently sent this to me and it moved me, made me smile and actually got me to stop and think about what's truly important. I hope you find it thought-provoking as well. Enjoy!

I've learned....
That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned....
That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned....
That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned....
That it's the small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned....
That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned....
That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I've learned....
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned....
That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned....
That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned....
That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned....

That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.

I've learned....
That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned....

That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned....
That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned....

That I should keep my words both soft and tender, because tomorrow I may have to eat them.

I've learned....
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned....
That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I've learned....
That when your newly born child holds your little finger in her little fist, you're hooked for life.

I've learned....
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occur while you're climbing it.

I've learned....
That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

Rodger Blaker works with executives, small business owners and professionals who want to grow in their business and create an extraordinary life!

Please forward this copy to your friends and colleagues! That's how I grow!