Newsletter for December 2006: Don’t Get Trapped by Your Dreams
- This Months Thought
- Don’t Get Trapped by Your Dreams
- Quotes of the Month
- Strictly Business: Knowing When to Say, “Next!”
- Humor: Grandkids Are the Best!
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Don't let yesterday's dreams become a trap! Regularly pause to evaluate what you really want in life. Adjust your direction and your daily routine to suit the "new you" and move in the direction you truly want to go. A few people might complain, or even call you "unreliable" but I promise, in the long run you'll have a happier, richer, and more successful life.
In May June of 2005, the U.S., and much of the world, was caught up in the sad story of Jennifer Wilbanks, the "runaway bride" who cut her hair and hopped a bus to Las Vegas just days before her wedding. For three days her family and the world feared the worst. In the end, of course we rejoiced that she was unharmed, but there are endless questions about "why" anyone would do that.
I think I know part of the answer.
Now, I have no idea if Jennifer changed her mind about getting married. That's a personal matter and not my concern.
What I do see is that as time goes by, our goals and dreams often change, but sometimes we fail to realize it and we fail to let others know. In college, we choose a major but a few years later, the field no longer interests or challenges us, but now we have a career we "can't" abandon. In business, we set a goal and as time goes by, we or the market or business conditions change, but we see no way to set a new course.
People become trapped by their own dreams, and that's a tragic thing.
There's an old joke that "when you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging!" But in real life, that can be hard.
Over and over again, I see people "stuck" in jobs or careers, in businesses or even relationships that no longer serve them, but they keep on "digging" because they can't stop. They see "no way out." They feel they would be humiliated or would lose "everything" if they changed course. Well, I see it differently.
A bad habit many men (and women) have is that when we fear we've taken a wrong turn or lost our way, we drive faster! Rather than stop to ask directions, or turn around, we hit the gas! In life, we "try harder." How silly is that?
One of the smartest things you can do is to review your goals every day. If the goal still suits you, re-visiting it will motivate and excite you. It will remind you of your
priorities and keep you on track. That's why I encourage my clients to write out their long term and short term goals and track them often to see how their progressing and to also determine if it’s time to adjust their course.
Clients describe the process in various ways. Some tell me they just "don't want to" re-write it, or they "don't have time." Or, they'll honestly admit, "the words don't sound right anymore." That's one of the most valuable things you can discover in life!
Sometimes, yesterday's goals no longer suit us. Sometimes, we've changed our mind, or we've learned something that changes our direction in life. Sometimes, we've matured, or gotten a new vision.
I've never met Jennifer Wilbanks, so I can only speculate, but I wonder what would have happened if a few weeks before her scheduled wedding she had told her family, "I've changed my mind. The elaborate wedding I always dreamed about as a little girl no longer suits me. Let's do it in the backyard instead."
There might have been some family disappointment or confusion. Maybe a few relatives would have been hurt that they couldn't come to the wedding, but lots of other people might have been relieved and delighted. Certainly, the world could have been spared the heartache of her disappearance.
Don't let yesterday's dreams become a trap! Regularly pause to evaluate what you really want in life. Adjust your direction and your daily routine to suit the "new you" and move in the direction you truly want to go. A few people might complain, or even call you "unreliable" but I promise, in the long run you'll have a happier, richer, and more successful life.
"You learn in life that the only person you can really correct and change is yourself." -- Katharine Hepburn
"You never achieve real success unless you like what you are doing." -- Dale Carnegie
"The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are." -- John Burroughs
"Know what you want to do, hold the thought firmly, and do every day what should be done, and every sunset will see you that much nearer the goal." -- Elbert Hubbard
There are two contradictory truths in selling. One is that in many industries the great majority of sales come after the fifth, eighth, or even tenth call, and the tragedy is that too many sales people never make those "fruitless" follow-up calls.
The second truth, however, is that in other industries, sales follow the "law of large numbers." This law says that if someone doesn't buy after two or three calls, they will probably never buy and successful salespeople know when to move on and find a new prospect. In these industries, the best salespeople make one or two contacts, give it their best presentation, then quickly learn to say, "Next!" They move on without hesitation.
Which truth applies to you and your business? Knowing the answer is critical to your success!
And what happens if there is no "industry standard" and you have to decide on a case-by-case basis? Think about car buyers.
Some customers visit a car lot to dream or "tire-kick." They are just looking and will keep on looking for years, perhaps until their current car falls apart. Repeated
invitations to come back because we "just got a new model, and it's your favorite color" is a waste of time. When they are finally ready to buy (and who knows when that will be?) they'll come in, negotiate a price and sign the papers. They've been "looking" for years and they know what they want. Until then, repeated calls make no difference.
Other customers, however, are ready and want to buy, but need hand-holding. They want to be encouraged. They want to be valued and they will respond to a second, a third or fourth invitation to buy.
Knowing your industry, and being able to "read" the intentions and buying styles of individual customers makes all the difference. It's a skill and it can be learned. If you are in business, you are in sales. Get good at it.
This small collection of great stories is new (to me at least) and I had to pass them along. A good friend sent them to me and they warmed my heart and made me laugh out loud.
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws.
"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head.
His grandmother knelt down next to him "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!"
The boy looked up, "Really?"
"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles."
The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild berries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"
"You're both old," he said.
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied "I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm four."
Rodger Blaker works with executives, small business owners and professionals who want to grow in their business and create an extraordinary life!
For info on resources for your success, visit: http://www.rodgerblaker.com or call me at 214-485-2238.
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