Newsletter for March 2009: Life, Liberty & the Pursuit of Happiness
Table of Contents:
Life,
Strictly Business: Knowing When to Say, “Next!”
Humor: For Those Born Before 1979
I value your privacy and will never rent, sell, or share your email address with anyone. To unsubscribe click on the Unsubscribe above. With the new presidency coming into bloom, money being spent to stimulate the economy, jobs being lost and gloom and doom on the horizon, our country is in the direst circumstance it has found itself in decades. We are living in a time that will shape our behavior for the rest of our lives. Are you sure that we are in such bad shape? You tell me! If you think so, then we are. On the other hand, if you don’t think so, then we are not!! Your world is a product of your thoughts! Control your thoughts and control your world. It is a cause and effect world and if you don’t believe it, try having a terrible attitude at home and see the response you get from other members of your family. These are people who “love” you, yet they will try to get away from you. Why am I telling you this? Because your thinking is something that my new colleague, Akhil, can help improve! Whether it is your team that is suffering from stinking thinking or it is for you, Akhil’s motivational message with practical methods will translate into an organizational metamorphosis. Check out his blog: http://inhopefor.blogspot.com - Read his past blogs on stress! He has a witty way about himself and he has a message that will truly inspire you. Read it and share. I recently read about a huge survey (over 100,000 participants) that said only 47% of Americans describe themselves as truly “happy.” This is the biggest survey ever on the topic, and it amazes me that more than half of us (think of that!) are not fulfilled, satisfied or “happy” with our lives. How can that be? In the past couple of centuries, we’ve done well on two of the three freedoms proclaimed in our Declaration of Independence. We’ve more than doubled life expectancy. Progress in medicine, sanitation, and safety give us more years than ever before. And we certainly have more liberty! We can say, think, travel, learn, buy, do or experience more variety than ever before. Even our parents never dreamed of the freedoms we take for granted every day. And yet when asked closely about our lives, we are no happier (and perhaps not as happy) as past generations. Headlines proclaim that we are anxious, stressed, cranky or depressed. We take more pills than any people in history. We worry. We feel less safe than our ancestors who faced famine, war and pestilence. What’s going on? How can this be and what can we do about it? Partly, I don’t think we actively seek “happiness” as much as we might. We are so busy pursuing things and taking care of business that we forget to enjoy our lives. Sometimes I’m not sure we even expect to be happy! In part, I blame our work ethic for this. We are so focused on a better tomorrow that we forget the wonders of today. I’d like to propose that happiness be considered a kind of skill. There are keys or steps to increasing happiness, and they can be learned. Here are five suggestions: 1. Happiness Requires Safety. When Abraham Maslow introduced his “Hierarchy” in 1947 he began with security. I suspect happiness begins with locking the doors at night, with some money in the bank, with a belief that we and our loved ones are safe. Yes, we could be hit by a bus, but to increase your level of happiness, take security seriously. Take care of your environment. Nurture a sense of personal control. Save money and invest wisely. For most of us, basic safety is attainable. Take care of yourself and your loved ones. 2. Happiness Requires Community. People are happier when they have caring, loving relationships. Spend time with family and friends. Invest in your neighbors and co-workers. Remember that we are “tribal” creatures and we need our friends. Whether it’s an extended family, your golfing buddies or girlfriends, nurture your community. As one of my favorite music groups of all time, the Beatles, observed; we “get by with a little help from our friends.” Happiness is found in community. 3. Happiness Requires Contribution. This means doing work that gives you fulfillment and satisfaction. Happy people make a difference! Most of us do our work through our jobs, but it can also come from volunteering or in some other way. You have talent and ability! Share it. Make a positive impact in your world. Contribute. It will make you happy. 4. Happiness Requires Fun. Happy people have fun! Whether it’s playing catch, making love, watching a movie or flying a kite, we don’t laugh as much as we could. We take our fun too seriously. Too often, we define “fun” as flying to Vegas or hosting an elaborate party. Why not grill hot-dogs and be done with it? Pillow fights are fun. Watching a sunset or washing the dog can be fun. I like Jimmy Buffet’s observation that “having fun is about as good a hobby as there is.” 5. Happiness Requires the X-Factor. We each find happiness in our own ways. For some, it’s the excitement of discovery. Others are happiest climbing mountains. Franklin Roosevelt enjoyed his stamp collection. Whatever makes you happy, do more of it. "Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values." -- Ayn Rand "How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment to improve the world." -- Anne Frank "Today I have grown taller from walking with the trees." -- Karle Wilson "Somewhere along the line of development we discover what we really are, and then make our real decisions for which we are responsible. Make that decision primarily for yourself because you can never really live anyone else's life.” -- Eleanor Roosevelt There are two contradictory truths in selling. One is that in many industries the great majorities of sales come after the fifth, eighth, or even tenth call, and the tragedy is that too many sales people never make those "fruitless" follow-up calls. The second truth, however, is that in other industries, sales follow the "law of large numbers." This law says that if someone doesn't buy after two or three calls, they will probably never buy and successful salespeople know to move on and find a new prospect. In these industries, the best salespeople make one or two contacts, give their best presentation, then quickly learn to say, "Next!" They move on without hesitation. And what happens if there is no "industry standard" and you have to decide on a case-by-case basis? Think about car buyers. Some customers visit a dealership to dream or "tire-kick." They are just looking and will keep on looking for years, perhaps until their current car falls apart. Repeated invitations to come back because we "just got a new model and it's your favorite color" are a waste of time. When they are finally ready to buy they'll come in, negotiate a price and sign the papers. They've been "looking" for years and they know what they want. Until then, repeated calls make no difference. Other customers, however, are ready and want to buy, but need hand-holding. They want to be encouraged. They want to be valued and they will respond to a second, a third or fourth invitation to buy. Knowing your industry, and being able to "read" the intentions and buying styles of individual customers makes all the difference. It's a skill and it can be learned. If you are in business, you are in sales. Get good at it. In terms of being happy, I think we worry too much. I love Bobby McFarran’s advice, “Don’t worry, be happy!” If you were born more than thirty years ago, I think you’ll recognize some of these. Enjoy! TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on bottles, doors or cabinets were not childproof, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets!. As children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, not even air bags! Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was considered a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose, not from a fancy plastic bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. With no cell phones, no one could to reach or monitor us all day and we survived and thrived! We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no cable TV, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms........ We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies, and the worms did not live in us forever. We rode bikes to a friend's house and knocked on the door or just walked in and talked to them without adult supervision or scheduled play-dates! Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL! If YOU are one of them CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who had the luck to grow up before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives "for our own good." While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it? Rodger Blaker works with executives, small business owners and professionals who want to grow in their business and create an extraordinary life! For info on resources for your success, visit: http://www.rodgerblaker.com or call me at 214-485-2238. GIVE A GIFT TO A FRIEND! Please forward this copy to your friends and colleagues! That's how I grow!
Life, Liberty & the Pursuit of Happiness
Quotes of the Month
Strictly Business: Knowing When to Say, "Next!"
Which truth applies to you and your business? Knowing the answer is critical to your success!
Humor: For Those Born Before 1979