Newsletter for May 2005:
Life On Your Own Terms

The keys to achievement, motivation and ultimate success are in your own heart. Find the goals that truly inspire, challenge and excite you, then stay up all night and work all day to achieve your destiny. Success is not something to be chased, it's something to be celebrated by living your own life, on your own terms, every day.

I recently heard a touching story about a person most people would see as extremely successful. He has an international reputation, has made tons of money, been interviewed as an expert on national television, has a beautiful family, and lives what most of us would call "the good life". Except that he "feels like a fraud."

As I heard the details of his story, it was clear that he has "done all the right things, collected all the blue ribbons and jumped through the hoops", but he has not figured out how to live a life that is truly his own.

Later, I recalled something I heard about a definition of success a teenage girl once gave. It was during a discussion of a group of middle-school kids and after all the comments that success was about money or power or fame, one girl quietly said, "I think success is living your life the way you want to." For her, success was not about popularity or sports or good grades. It was choosing her values, setting her goals, and living a life that satisfied her.

At age 15, she already understood that no one could deny her the ultimate success of living well and enjoying "a life of one's own".

As the story of the 40-something entrepreneur unfolded, it became clear that he has never "gotten" that. In some ways, he is still trying to please other people, trying to be popular, trying to win first prize. For all of his money, fame and power, he is not successful in his own eyes.

Success is living your own life. Success, with a small "s", is winning a prize, getting the promotion, making more money, or having a bigger house. Achieving those things is important and worthwhile, but only so long as we understand they only lead to "success", and rarely to success!

Many of the people who contact me for coaching - not all, but many - are discovering that being the most popular kid in school is not enough. I suspect the rise and fall of the stock market in recent years has permitted many people to have far more "success" than they expected, to lose much of it, and to discover that neither success nor loss are as satisfying as they expected. That leads to the obvious question, "Is that all there is?"

The answer has always been right in front of us. Success is not about allowing peer pressure to tell us how to dress, how to dance, what music to listen to, or later in life, what car to drive.

Success, with a capital "S", is living our own life, in our own way, consistent with our values. It is about choosing our priorities, doing things that are meaningful and important, about staying the course, finishing what we set out to do, and making a difference in the world.

Highly success people have always known that in the end, success is about following your heart, living with passion, loving people and making a difference. Some do this by building a business, or by creating art or music. Some do it in politics or education. Some seek cures for the world's diseases or to help cultures understand each other and live together in peace.

The keys to achievement, motivation and ultimate success are in our own heart. As Tony Robbins has said, people are not lazy, they just have inadequate, hollow or uninspiring goals. Find the goals that truly inspire, challenge and excite you, then stay up all night and work all day to achieve your destiny. Success is not something to be chased, it's something to be celebrated by living our own life, on our own terms, every day.

"Every man dies. Not every man truly lives." -- Braveheart

"You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down." -- Mary Pickford

"Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." -- Erica Jong

"Don't be prisoner of your past, but the architect of your future." -- Unknown

Many people in business have to do a considerable amount of travel and often the tax authorities will question travel expenses. This appears to be a common area for entrepreneurs and professionals to "cook the books", so the IRS often looks at it very closely. Fortunately, we seem to be well prepared.

It also appears that often small business owners do not maintain adequate records and details. If this is true, that is astonishing, because keeping good financial records is essential. For review, here are a few items to double-check to be sure you're doing it right:

1. Have a separate bank account, credit card and accounting system for your business and NEVER mix personal expenses with your business. Never buy a business computer and a vacation trip with the same credit card. Never deposit a business payment to your personal checking account. These steps cost very little and could save you heartache and money down the road.

2. Keep every business receipt. You may not always list it in the right account, and your Accountant or the tax folks might quibble about whether it's a business expense, but with a receipt you have hope. Without it, you got nothing!

3. Never, ever, cheat or cut corners. It just isn't worth it. Over the years there have been unbelievable stories of professional and business owners who should clearly know better, thinking they could either hide income or use a business expense for personal gain. Statistically, you might get away with it, but at what cost?

4. Hire and use a great Accountant! It may cost you a lot to retain the services of quality legal and accounting advice. However, in the long run you give yourself the best chance for making things easy. By following expert advice and doing it right, you will minimize the stress. What a bargain!

It's very easy to go into business, and running a business is easy if you have great systems to track your finances automatically, effortlessly, and accurately. Those systems don't "cost", they truly pay off in wonderful ways. Follow the basics. There will likely come a day when you'll be delighted you did!

Over the years I have been around cats and I have owned dogs, and I believe (contrary to some vicious rumors) that I love both. It just happen to think the dog is much smarter, better trained, and more affectionate...not my fault!

Here's what some other people have had to say on the subject:

"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue." -Anonymous

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." -Ann Landers

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." -Will Rogers

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." -Ben Williams

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." -Josh Billings

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." – Andrew A. Rooney

"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate" -Sigmund Freud

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." – James Thurber

"A dog teaches a child fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." -Robert Benchley

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." -Rita Rudner

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise." -Unknown

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -Unknown

Rodger Blaker works with small business owners who want to grow their business and create an extraordinary life! For info on resources for your success, visit: http://www.rodgerblaker.com

So just what IS coaching, anyway? I’m asked that questions often by strangers and by people I know. Click on the following to read an article where some of the top coaches in the industry offer their responses to the question. http://www.coachinginsider.com/ci/index.php/issue/story/what_is_coaching/

GIVE A GIFT TO A FRIEND! Please forward this copy to your friends and colleagues! That's how I grow!